If only... perhaps...

The VCD lay unopened for quite a few days.. in fact, months... finally, managed to watch it on a lazy Saturday afternoon...

कदाचित (if only.. perhaps..)
A Marathi movie.. I was watching one after a long time.. quite a different tale.. as opposed to the usual stuff dished out in the Marathi film industry.. and hopefully not lifted from any Hindi or English movie either..

The central character is a well established neuro-surgeon - an extremely intelligent and confident lady - who's aware of how good she is and makes no qualms in acknowledging it as well. Her self-confidence and strong belief in herself is what gives her immense strength.

All is well till the fateful day when her biological father comes back in her life. Years ago, he was sentenced to life imprisonment for his wife's murder - the testimony of the daughter being the evidence that tilted the judgement against him.

And the father comes back to reveal the truth - that the highly intelligent and razor sharp daughter had unusually faulted. And he was actually innocent.

Her life crumbles all around her, as she suspects her own judgement, her own intelligence. Was she wrong? Did her own father suffer because of her own mistake? As she gathers evidence, she realized that probably.. she indeed made a mistake...
The outcome is as expected - from the highs of confidence she falls into the depths of depression...

Ever observed your own shadow?
Your shadow is actually an image of your own personality - your belief system is the light shining behind you that creates that shadow.
As long as your belief is strong, the shadow is clear and full... and it stays with you always to keep you aware of your own presence..
As the light becomes weaker, the shadow fades away into an emptiness... an emptiness that dares to dissolve you into nothingness...

No wonder, the challenge for the lady remains.. can she revive that light of her own belief to keep her shadow alive...
If only.. perhaps.. she were right that fateful day as she had always been...

~ Quite ironically, I decided to write about a Marathi movie in English; while I have written about English movies on my Marathi blog...paradoxical, I say.. but then, c'est la vie..

Life in a... Metro.. with some chai..

~A few thoughts penned after watching the movie "Life in a Metro"

Its the month of March. The mercury's already gone over 37degC in Pune. But today's a different day. The skies are grey the whole a'noon - looks like it would rain anytime - a welcome shower in this heat. I stand in my balcony, holding on to my cup of strong adrak chai. The cool evening breeze carries the sweet smell of the earth - I wonder is there any appropriate word in English that describes "soundhi" so beautifully.

And then I wonder about Life in a Metro.
They say, movies usually depict life in real. How much does this movie actually represent? I have no statistics or real life examples that come to my mind. Maybe it does, maybe it does not.
Are relationships in today's metro really so complicated?

Rishtey to nahin, rishton ki parchaiyaan miley..
Yeh kaisi bheed hain..
Bas yahaan! Tanhaiyaan miley...

All this while, its the head that is talking.

Isnt it an eternal conflict - the head versus the heart.
What I should do versus what I want to do.

The heart speaks first.
Isnt that why Shruti (Konkona), the 28 year old virgin, lets go off herself in the end - she couldnt infinitely wait for her 'perfect man' - he doesnt exist until she actually gives it a try - the head made her wait for so long, finally she listened to her heart.

The head gets defensive. What about Shruti's very own sister, Mrs Ranjeet, er.. Shikha (Shilpa Shetty)? Had she listened to her heart, she would not have stayed on with Ranjeet (K K Menon), but she would have rather gone on with Akash (Shiney).

Is the heart really so selfish?

Dil khudgarz hai
Phisla hai yeh, phir haath se...
Kal uskaa rahaa,
Ab hai teraa.. is raat se..

Why does she not choose Akash over Ranjeet? Is it because Akash is a loser in life? Is it because of societal norms? Is it because she & Ranjeet have been married for 9 years, have a 6 year old daughter - and she cant imagine herself leaving all this for the sake of a love which is not more than 4-5 weeks old, and which has not withstood any real test of time?

The heart cant bear all this abuse.
It retorts angrily. What about Rahul (Sharman Joshi)?
He listened to his smart head, didnt care two hoots about any morals or principles, and just found new ways to make money. Finally, when he realised that he was sacrificing his love, he listened to me, his heart, and gave everything up! It wasnt just his bag that lay scattered on the railway platform - it was his life. And thankfully, Neha (Kangana) realised it too. Thats why she came to him.

The head cant stop laughing.
It was because of you, my dear heart, that Neha fell in love with her boyfriend, and then got ditched. Then she listened to me and got into the relationship with Ranjeet - both were happy in life until you decided to meddle in her life again. She was getting promotions & perks, he was getting sex - their mutually exclusive needs were being fulfilled - but you couldnt see that happen, could you? Thats why you made her ask for more out of that relationship. You made her attempt suicide - has she listened to just me, her head, she would have never been that unhappy in her life.

What about Ranjeet then, asked the heart.
You will never understand him, chuckled the head - his head & his heart lie in his loins - I wonder if he ever listens to us.

The heart suddenly remembered Amol (Dharmendra) & Shivani (Nafisa Ali) and exclaimed that love finally conquers all obstacles. He listened to his head in his youth - but towards the end - he realised his folly. After so many years, the two of them reignited their love & feelings for each other & became happy.

Baatein kuch ankahee si, kuch ansooni si hone lagi..
Kaaboo dil pe raha na, hasti hamaari khone lagi..
Shayad yahi hai pyaar...

You are crazy! shouted the head. Had Amol listened to you in his youth, he would have ended up being a loser in life like Akash. It is only after you become old & senile, you end up doing insane things and not care about the consquences - coz anyway, there's not much left in life to lose.

What about Monty (Irfan Khan) then, asked the heart?
Yeah, what about him, retorted the head.
He is a simpleton who gives simple answers to all questions in life.
Want to vent out your anger, just shout at the top of your voice.
Want to give love a chance, just go ahead, fall in love.

So, what do you do in the end?
Listen to the head or your heart?
Or wait for your head to permit your heart to make decisions for you?

In dino... dil meraa.. mujh se hai keh rahaa..
Tu.. khwaab sajaa...
Hai, tujhe bhi ijaazat..
kar le.. tu bhi..muhabbat..

I watch the small raindrops fall pitter-patter on the ground below.
With my eyes closed, I hold out out my hand to catch some of those raindrops on my palm. I feel mesmerized with that mitti ki soundhi-soundhi khushboo.
And I continue to sip my favorite adrak wali chai.

When V Met

U n I - two different individuals, as different as the proverbial chalk n cheese.
U - the ever talkative, ever smiling, ever enthusiastic, ever crazy gal.
Me - the ever silent, ever brooding, ever boring, ever serious guy.
And one fine day, V met on a train.

The train was a metaphor for life - I had no clue where it was headed, I had no ticket and I desperately wanted to get off it.
Whereas, U were one who never missed catching your train, U knew where U wanted to go, U knew what U wanted to do.

And when I got off my train, U left the train too. And came with me.
It was destiny that our paths crossed. Destiny, they say, is a matter of choice than chance. Is it?
I dont know, but what I know is this -
when V met, U showed me the way.
U were the leader and I became your follower.

हम जो चलने लगे,
चलने लगे हैं यह रास्तें,
मंज़िल से बहतर,
लगने लगे हैं यह रास्तें...

आओ, खो जाये हम,
हो जाये हम युं लापता,
आओ, मिलो चलें,
जाना कहां ना हो पता...

During our journey together, I was simply floored by you.
I was amazed by U, amazed coz U were crazy and did simply whatever that came to your mind, or should I say your heart.
I envied U, envied U coz U loved yourself so much.
I loved U, loved U coz U were in love.

U showed me that when a person is in love, it shows.
U were so colorful, so happy.
And U looked so forward to meeting your love.

हां, हैं कोई तो वजह,
जो जीने का मज़ा युं आने लगा,
यह हवाओं में हैं क्या,
थोडासा जो नशा जो छाने लगा..

पुछो ना पुछो, मुझे क्या हुआ हैं,
तेरी राहों में आकर,
पुछो ना पुछो, मुझे क्या मिलेगा,
तेरी बाहो में आकर..

यह इश्क हाये,
बैठे-बिठाये, जन्नत दिखाये हां..

Until I met U, my life appeared to be completely shattered.
But U showed me the way. I argued with U that life cannot be led the way U led it - U have to be serious in life - and I was stumped when U posed me this Q,
"U were serious, weren't u? Then why did this happen to U?"
I had no answer.

But after meeting U, I turned over a new leaf. Whenever I faced a problem, a crisis, a challenge, I put on Ur thinking hat, I put myself in Ur shoes and asked myself how would U react, what would U do. And I did just what U would do.
And I became happy. And succesful.
Even in Ur absence, U became a part of me, my thoughts, my life.

ना हैं यह पाना,
ना खोना ही हैं,
तेरा ना होना जाने,
क्यों होना ही हैं..

तुमसे ही दिन होता हैं,
सुरमयी शाम आती हैं,
तुमसे ही, तुमसे ही..

हर घडी सांस आती हैं,
ज़िन्दगी कहलाती हैं,
तुमसे ही, तुमसे ही..

Fate, they say, can be cruel at times. How ironical then, that at the same time when I started living life on the very rules that U defined, U lost faith in yourself. Reality hit hard on U, when your love did not respond the way U wanted it to.

It was then my turn to help U get aboard the train again; albeit at a different station; on a different route. I showed U the mirror - a mirror that helped U look at Ur own reflection of Ur old self. Once we were back on track, U asked me if I loved U; and I could not hide the truth.

And then, destiny played its part again - your love realised his love for you, and came back to you with open arms. U looked at me; confused; torn between two loves; not sure which path to take; whom to choose as your life partner.
Two people should get married only if both of them are in love with each other - both of us knew this.
And I walked away, for your happiness...

Maybe, you realised at that moment of separation that U were missing a train; missing a journey of life that both of us could enjoy together;
and maybe you didnt want to miss this train...
... and you came running towards me... and I reached out for U...
that's Jab V Met...

Deux frères and a Goal

Deux frères - Two brothers. Twins - one shy and gentle, the other bold and fierce. Separated in their early childhood. Grow up in different environments. The bold brother gets confined to a maverick life of performing odd tricks to the tunes of his master. The shy brother grows up under a royal patronage that urges him to become a fighter.
And one day, the two brother find themselves pitted against each other - to fight until death.
What an irony of fate!

Seems like the story of Manmohan Desai film based on the "lost n found" funda.
Thats where the similarity ends.
The two brothers in question arent Amar, Akbar or Anthony - but they are two tigers - yes, two tigers living somewhere in Cambodia in the 1930s.

One grows up in a circus, learning tricks from the ring master.
The other grows up in the local prince's private zoo.

And when they look into each others' eyes in the fighting arena and realize their relationship, they unite to escape from their caged lives - helping each other on their way to freedom.
No words are spoken between the two brothers - it is just the look in the eyes, the shallow gnarls and loud roars, the majestic walk, the aesthetic acrobatics while jumping over fire, the cuddling and gentle pushes - that impresses you with the love and admiration that the brothers share with each other.

A movie that is certainly very different from the usual stuff that comes on TV. Especially for a person like me who has not yet seen a tiger in the wild - but only on either TV or in zoos.

**********************************************
He is a young man who continues to impress. He is just 3 movies old - and I have liked all three, but my favorite is the second one, which wasnt as commercially successful as his other two.
The movie in the spotlight - Lakshya.
Every time I catch this movie while surfing the TV, I watch it over n over again.

Is it because of the empathy I feel in the helplessness of Karan Shergill who cannot decide what he wants out of his life - deciding to join the army just because his friend wants to - being influenced by the herd mentality - not sure if that is really what he wants.

Is it because he leaves the IMA feeling frustrated with the discipline and hard work that he is not used to, only to come back again since he feels that it is the only way to restore some self-respect and also his fair share of respect from his own father;

Or is it how his relationship with Romi evolves. The moment when they look at each other under the shellings with my favorite song from the movie in the background,

Kyun Poori Ho Na Paayee Daastan...
Kaise Aayee Hain Aisi Dooriyan...
Kitni Baatein Yaad Aati Hain..
Tasverein Si Ban Jaati Hain..
Main Kaise Inhein Bhoolon..
Dil Ko Kya Samjhaon...

Or is it the sublime moment when he realizes what he finally wants in life.
When he sets a goal for himself.
A goal that is not just personally satisfying, but tests his strengths and stretches his limits beyond the farthest. A goal that helps him redefine his relationship with Romi; with his father; and more importantly with himself.

FA's other two movies are fabulous too. But this one stands apart.
A well laid out and taut story; refreshing music by SEL (another favorite of mine); a superlative performance by HR - all others including PZ, AB n others are in supporting roles imho; beautiful cinematography - there are just too many reasons for me to make me watch this movie over n over n over again.

**********************************************

Two movies that I watched recently on TV.
One new, and the other oft repeated.
Loved them. Absolutely.

The pursuit of...

Finally watched a movie this weekend that I had been wanting to watch since last December. It is the story of a middle-aged guy, struggling to make both ends meet, struggling to look after his 5-year old son, struggling to keep his marriage working, struggling to make his mark in life - a few of those struggles end in success, a few in failure - but there's one struggle that is never ending, it is... the pursuit of happyness.

There's a moment of realisation of this particular struggle, in the movie when Chris Gardner, the central character enacted by Will Smith, says
"And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it."

Aren't we all pursuing happyness? Can any one of us ever claim that we have found happyness for ever and ever?

Obstacles always arise in our path. It is the belief in ourselves and in our dreams that should always be unwavering, so that we can overcome those obstacles.
Chris' 5-year old boy wants to become a good basketball player, when Chris tells him that he can't be that because his dad always sucked at it as a child. Then realising his mistake, he tells his son,
"Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period."

The saddest moments in life are those when the heart cries silently with no tears in the eyes.
And the happiest moments are those when the heart smiles with no words spoken, and the eyes are filled with tears.

The saddest moment is enacted incredibly well when Will Smith has to spend a night in the restroom of a metro with his son, after they become homeless - he has no money to go anywhere - and he pushes the restroom door with his leg that someone is trying to open, while he holds on to his son sleeping in his arms.
To act well in such a heart-wrenching scene comes naturally to Oscar nominated actors. You dont expect anything less from them in such scenes.

But the scene where Will Smith truly shows his limitless acting potential is when he finally succeeds in achieving his long-held dream, and experiences that rare moment of sublime happyness.
You can see it in his eyes and his whole body language - no words are spoken - he comes out of his office to mingle into the crowd on the street, yet stands apart from the rest of the crowd.
He simply cannot believe he's finally achieved it against all odds, and he wants to share his happyness with the whole world around him. It is what you can call the perfect moment.

What is it that I am in pursuit of? happyness? success? perfect moments?
Will I ever achieve all of them?
All I know is that -
You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.

My pursuit continues...period.

What color do you want?

A childhood game involved making a 4-petaled paper structure that you hold in your fingers and pop a question to your friend,

"Tipi-tipi, Tip-top,
What color do you want?"

Nikhil posed this very question to a bunch of friends one by one, and here's what each one of them replied:

Kamini (Priyanka): I aspire for WHITE because it stands for purity & innocence, but deep down inside me I know that my favorite is RED - a color known for power & love.

Rahul (Salman): I appear to be aristocratic & artificial, no wonder you will find me in PURPLE.

Vinay (Anil): Ah well! My life is nothing but dull, uninteresting, un-'happening' if you may call it - what else can I have but GREY in my life?

Seema (Juhi): I am the perfect woman with the perfect kids, a perfect husband & a perfect family; I am the perfect BLACK.

Shiven (Akshaye): Please dont ask me! I have nothing else but BLUE in my life - it is the color of the sea and the sky - both are boundless and free, and I prefer not to be tied down by anything in life just like them!
Gia (Ayesha): I love PINK - calm & peaceful, tender & caring, accepting & self-assuring.

Raju (Govinda): Arey bhai! Believe in your dreams with all your heart - one fine day, they will turn into reality. For me, it is the colour YELLOW that represents my optimism.
Stephanie (Shannon): I am an IVORY tower, in search of a love I want but does not reciprocate, and oblivious to the one that I have already with me, but I do not know.

Ashutosh (John): I am earthy & solid by nature; I stick to my roots & convictions, and when I have my love by my side to give me my strength, I dont mind taking on the world - I am the quintessential BROWN guy.
Tehzeeb (Vidya): I am all for a new beginning, a fresh start, and I go by GREEN, a color that complements my soulmate's BROWN perfectly.

Having heard what his friends wanted, Nikhil got a little confused - the 4 paper petals on his fingers could hold only 4 colors, but his friends had asked for more colors than his paper petals could hold. He tried to please everyone, but it became unmanageable so much so that he also resorted to having 2 more persona, viz. Ramdayal (Sohail) & Phulwati (Isha), who were desperate to paint the town RED!

If only, he had stuck to 4 colors, the game would have turned out to be such a wonderful tribute to love in the true sense, n'est ce pas?

No wonder in the end, we agree wholeheartedly with Kailash' plea to all of Nikhil's friends in the form of a beautiful rendition,

प्यार हैं या सज़ा,
ऎ मेरे दिल बता
टुटता क्यों नहीं,
दर्द का सिलसिला

इस प्यार में हो कैसे-कैसे इन्तेहान
यह प्यार लिखे कैसी-कैसी दास्तान

या रब्बा!
दे दे कोई जान भी अगर,
दिलबर पे हो ना,
दिलबर पे हो ना कोई असर...

*Salaam-e-ishq*

Dor...

~ A few thoughts penned after watching Nagesh Kukunoor's new movie 'Dor'

Dor - a single rope of hope that ties the destinies of a hapless young widow and a never-say-"die" fearless widow-to-be.

The rope brings the cold mountain breezes and lush green valleys of Himachal Pradesh to meet the hot desert winds and dusty sands of Rajasthan. With this rope in your hands, you meet vagabonds on your way - strangers essentially good at heart, but who may dupe you for their own survival; and the bonding of the rope ensures that the vagabonds reach out to you in your moment of distress, thereby becoming your friends for life.

In one moment, this rope defines the boundaries of societal norms & customs that define your life; and yet in another moment, it also helps you climb over those tall orthodox walls then they question your very own existence. A solitary rope that can become the path towards freedom for a person, can also be equally effective as a noose for another - the person who holds this rope, has the right of choice between forgiveness and revenge, life and death, joy and sorrow, freedom and bondage - a right of choice that even angels would be envious of.

How this rope will change your destiny, depends on how strong you pull it, or how loose you keep it - this rope is as strong as your determination is, as flexible as your heart is, as resilient as your will power is, and as long as the reach of your friend's arms is.

That is what Dor means to me...

Alvida Omkara?

It is not often that you get to see two Bollywood movies in a week, in the first week of their release and more specifically at the first day, first show! And especially when the two movies come from master story tellers (movie directors should really be good story tellers) like Vishal Bharadwaj & Karan Johar.

Having seen Maqbool which was VB's interpretation of Shakespeare's Macbeth, I had been really looking forward to watching "Omkara" - his rendition of another tragedy from the bard, viz. Othello. If you have never read Shakespeare like me, this piece of info will do no good - but if you watch the movies, you will agree that the bard indeed captures human emotions, human relations & human behaviour so beautifully that even four centuries later - one is amazed that at the core we humans havent changed much.

Watching Omkara made me ponder over a few Qs. What is it within us that makes us jealous or suspicious of our companions or our near n dear ones? Why does it drive us to a point of no return, when we repent our actions, our words? Can we attribute it to lack of trust? Then is trust more important an attribute than unconditionality when it comes to love? Maybe all of us demand unconditional love all the time, but what we really need is a love which we can trust.

Karan Johar's Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna on the other hand is a serious departure from his earlier flicks; a good sign since this time he attempts to be bold rather than telling his usual fairy tales that end with "... and they lived happily together ever after."

KANK is a reflection of changing times as we love to call them. Of times when married couples look beyond the boundaries set by society n tradition, n decide to cross those boundaries; of times when individual happiness becomes more important than societal or traditional norms. But then, have times really changed or have they been the same? Did infidelity never occur before KJ decided to sugarcoat it with his tag line "what happens if you meet your soulmate after marriage?"

Both movies seem to point out that trust & understanding are the prerequisites for a relationship to succeed. No wonder, in the near absence of these, you are reminded of Konkona Sen Sharma's words,

"Hasi badi mehengi ho jaave is duniya mein."

Three movies & - I, me, myself

Three people - "I", "me", "myself" - in this world - all three come from India - they cant be called Indians - they just come from India. There's more to them than being Indian - they represent three different ideologies, lifestyles, goals, aspirations, et al.

=====================================================
Lets start with the first - who am "I"??
"I" am an Indian, or rather "I" come from India, but currently stay in Sydney.

One one side, "I" am a 21st century guy who came to study architecture in Sydney, but opened up a restaurant to become what I always wanted to become - a chef! I love a live-in relationship, am ready to change my waking habits for my lady love, make breakfast for her, clean the house - BUT I hate commitment, I hate marriage & I am just not ready for a kid.

Alternatively, "I" am a nex-gen gal who doesnt want to get married, so escapes to Sydney to study medicine, and then becomes an RJ (Radio Jockey for those uninitiated) to make a living. And I want a live-in relationship as well - its only when I get pregnant (thank God, we have moved away from the hysterical "yeh kahaan se apnaa mooh kaala kar aayi kal-moohi!!") - thats when I realise the joy of giving life to another person, the joy of being a mother (a try @ being Mother India), the joy of doing what I really wanna do!

Oops, and if "I" have to greet you, "I" would simply say "Salaam Namaste"!and then I continue h(u)mmmmm-ing 'My dil goes hmmmmm'...

=====================================================

Moving on to the next person. Who "me"?? "Me" belongs to that heavenly paradise on Earth called Kashmir.
Me's brother is a terrorist & me's lover is an Indian army captain. Now, that definitely means a lot of ammunition in me's life.
Nevertheless, me's life recoils on every nook n corner with bullet shots.
But dont get confused - me's a very normal gal o'wise.. me's aspirations are as sky high as any other teenager... simply wearing a pair of jeans..
or like when me's in love, me likes singing 'Pooche jo koi meri nishaani, rang heena kehnaa' on the Dal lake...

It amazes "me" to know that life in Pune is so unhappening - no snow, no chinaar trees, no bullets - c'mon!! how can you live in a place like that???

Coz me firmly believes that,
Agar kahin dharti par swarga hai, to bas "Yahaan" hai, "Yahaan" hai, "Yahaan" hai!
=====================================================

Time for the 3rd person - talking about "Myself"??
What do you want to know about "myself"?

Myself comes from UP. Naah.. myself not a bhaiyya, but a police officer, who wants to clean out the entire crime system in UP. Yeah, myself face a lot of opposition - from politicians, criminals - but myself not give up - myself fight till the end, for the sake of society, for good, for truth.

And when myself feel tired, myself remembers mother's words,
" Jab aadmi thak jaata hai, to use Sehar mein ugte suraj ke saamne khadaa rehnaa chaahiye, thakaan apne-aap duur ho jaayegi!"

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Three movies - Salaam Namaste, Yahaan & Sehar - all depicting life in today's India. Movies which are not your typical candy floss stuff, but come close to real life - and yet so unreal or rather so incoherent between themselves. Tough to believe that they represent the lives of Indians living in the same time. They belong to the same generation, are of the same age, come from the same country - yet they have different aspirations, different problems, different ways to define happiness..

It is unclear who amongst these three can be called a typical Indian - they all come from India, but their lives are so different.. they cant get type-cast as Indian..

Unsurprisingly most of us also belong to this generation - and touchwood! Our life is so much different!! (At least mine is...)